My wife refuses to have sex during Lent

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old and I am married. My wife and I are Christians and she goes to a church that has some strange beliefs. In 2022, she insisted that she did not want to get married during Lent. It did not make any difference to me, so we got married after Easter. She believes in prayer and fasting and I do not fight her over her beliefs. But sometimes on a Sunday I try to make love to her and she pushes me away and says I need to pray, and she has to get ready to go to church. She calls me carnal.

Now she is reminding me that during Lent, she is not going to have sex with me. I asked her what she expected me to do and she said I should do without because after Lent, she hoped to still be around. Is there anywhere in the Bible that forbids a married couple from having sex during Lent? I asked her to show me that passage or verse and she said it didn't have to be in the Bible, but that is what her church teaches. A couple should try to abstain from having sex during Lent.

BEHAVE MYSELF

There are times when I would like to make love and to show my wife affection and she says that she is tired and she wants to sleep and I must learn to behave myself. We are not using protection because we do not have children, but she believes that I may get her pregnant we have sex during Lent. My wife is 29 and she knows I am not a bad man. She was not a virgin when we got married. She had two other men in her life and then she became a Christian. She was not a saint, so I don't understand why we should have arguments over sex during Lent.

She took our business to one of the mothers in the church, and this woman told her to resist me if I tried to have sex. I told her that she would have me charged for rape because I would not force her to have sex with me if she is ill. But to use the argument about Lent is foolishness as far as I am concerned.

I would like to hear what you have to say on this matter. Thank you, sir.

O.D.

Dear O.D.,

Let me begin by telling you that there is nothing in the Bible about Lent. I do not wish to offend anybody or to condemn any religious group, but I must tell you that this matter about Lent is not scriptural; it is a man-made doctrine that some religious groups observe. Some take this matter very far as your loving wife is doing.

I do not believe that she means any harm. People give up many different things during Lent. Some give up smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. But your wife is taking this matter very far and has decided that she will withhold sex from you for 40 days. So you have a real challenge on your hands. I hope that you will be able to persuade her not to carry out her threat. I know that some denominations do not conduct weddings during the Lenten period.

I have had to officiate at weddings for a particular pastor during Lent. I cannot point out anything in the Bible that supports Lent, but I will not condemn anyone who observes that religious observation. Before I go, let me say, be careful. Do not allow yourself to get involved with any other woman because your wife wants to abstain from making love with you during Lent.

Pastor