Cousin got me hooked on anal sex

Dear Pastor,

I gave up my virginity when I was 17, but I have been masturbating since I was 15.

My first sexual experience was with a female cousin with whom I spent a summer break with; she is my aunt's daughter. She is three years older than I am. It was two weeks before my 16th birthday. We slept in the same room, on the same bed. We were talking and she started asking me about boyfriends and sex. I told her I liked a guy at my school but we had never done anything sexual. We only kissed a few times. She started telling me about her experiences and how it felt really good. The things that she was telling me were turning me on, and I think she saw that and she began touching and sucking my breasts, and putting her hand between my legs.

She turned my face to hers and kissed me, putting her tongue in my mouth. She got between my legs, removed my panties and started to lick my vagina. I reached orgasm immediately. She did that for a few minutes and then she got off the bed and went for the lotion. She then asked me if I trusted her, to which I said yes. She told me to roll over on my belly and spread my legs, which I did. I felt when she put the lotion on my anus and was gently rubbing it. I was so shocked that I asked her what she was doing. She told me to relax as she started to push her finger inside my anus. It hurt and I told her to stop.

She started kissing me again while she fingered both my vagina and my anus, and surprisingly, after a while it started to feel good. She told me she and her boyfriend do it all the time and she likes it. We did it a few more times before I went back home and that was the beginning of my sexual awakening. I am now what most people would call a lady in public, but a freak in private. I developed a liking for anal sex; I would normally play with myself in the shower, or occasionally use my dildo, which I truly enjoy.

The first time I suggested anal sex to my man, he was furious and said he was not into that. I would do things to seduce him like making videos of me doing it to myself. When I would ride him, I would sneakily try to slip his penis in my anus until one day he just gave in to it. Now we do it regularly. I climaxed so hard and intensely from anal sex that it's unexplainable. If truth be told, many woman are doing it too because I have close friends and co-workers who practise anal sex like it.

I am now 44, married with two children, have a loving husband, a nice job in the private sector, and live a nice and quiet life. I am not ashamed of the type of person I am or the things I do in my bedroom. Sometimes I do feel as if I am addicted to it.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

I am not sure why you have written to me, but I have carefully read your letter.

From what you have said, you know that I do not condemn writers, regardless of what they have written to me about. Whether these things are bad or good, every writer should know that God is seeing everything. What I do believe that I am to do is to encourage writers and readers to seek the Lord while He can be found and to call upon Him to save their souls. I believe in the born again message. There are things that people do that only Jesus can deliver them from.

I would hate to think that you are bragging about the life you live. You are now a married woman and your husband and you engage in some sexual activities that many would consider gross. But I repeat, I am not here to judge anyone. Evidently you are proud of the things you do, and so you discuss it with your friends who also engage in these practices.

I have been counselling for many years and I know that the most powerful thing in the world is prayer, so talk to God about your life and the things you do and be assured of my prayers on your behalf. May you have a successful life as a married woman. Feel free to write to me again.

Pastor