My boyfriend doesn’t want counselling

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and I was once married but my husband has passed on. I am now in love with a man who is 55.

He was married, but his wife died. Both of us come from lovely families. We both have two children each. We have travelled abroad together and stayed with his children. This man is not a Christian. The children have been encouraging us to get married. I told him that we should go for counselling, but he does not see the need to go. He asked me what the counsellor can tell him that he doesn't know. He is a very stubborn man. But I would like to get married and become active in my church.

This man tells me that he is not preventing me from becoming active and that he would attend church with me sometimes. He doesn't have anything against churches. He even gives me offering whenever I am going to church. But I know that we need some counselling before we get married. I would like to hear from you.

G.

Dear G.,

You can either agree to marry this man or not. He does not see the need for premarital counselling, so instead of fighting him on this matter, both of you should buy books on premarital counselling and read them together. He believes that he knows everything about relationships. He is mistaken. But if you love him and don't want to leave him, buy books or have very good friends meet with you both in an official manner and talk about your future. I wish you well.

Pastor