Phones robbing your relationship of sparks

August 13, 2019

Falling in love in the 21st century can be very challenging, and even with all the technological advances that we have, communication as a couple can be even more so.

This is tricky since technology is supposed to make communication easier for us, but for so many couples, the very devices that we use can become obstacles in the way we relate to each other. I find it amazing that people are so caught up with their e-life that they sometimes miss out on the real-life occurrences that are happening around us.

I remember observing a few couples at a restaurant who are so caught up in their devices that they don’t exchange any conversation between each other – I remember thinking as I looked at them why didn’t they just get the food to go?

It’s important for couples to maintain their primary relationship regardless of what’s going on in their lives. This is not always easy to achieve because communication can be a major obstacle that couples may find difficult to navigate.

There are ways for us to get back to each other on a real face-to-face level and improve the way we communicate as a couple.


Put down the devices – It’s very easy to focus on all the happenings online and ignore each other. Designate a specific time of day or space in your home that is tech-free and use the time to bond with each other.


Play games – It sounds cliché but playing with each other may seem childish, yet this a great way to bond as a couple. Get the board games out and have fun playing and being silly with each other.


Address conflicts face-to- face –Don’t argue online or using your devices. If you have a conflict, take the time to sit down with each other and have an open conversation about the issue and find ways to solve the problem. Sending text messages can be convenient but not always clear because they are not an effective way of communicating tone and inflection.


Have conversations – Whether it’s from a movie, the news, a book – talk to each other. Get passionate, make your point and don’t be afraid to disagree with each other. Being able to talk intellectually is a great way to improve your bond as well as learn how your partner thinks.


Spend alone time together – Sometimes we are so caught up with our lives that time will pass and we will miss out on intimacy with each other. Sit and cuddle, just hold each other and breathe. Enjoy the feeling of being wrapped in each other’s arms and just be.


The fact is, communication is important to the success of every relationship especially intimate ones. It’s an active function that takes effort on the part of all the parties. Always make time for your partner when they have something to discuss; sometimes they just want to be heard. We must use technology as a tool, not allow it to be an obstacle in our lives and relationships.

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