Sexy Chat| Technology can make or break your relationship

October 13, 2015

We live in a world where everything is quick - fast food, instant messaging, and drive thru weddings. It seems everything happens at lightning speed - even relationships. Technology has played a big role in the way we live, but has our dependence on our devices been a more of a hindrance on how we relate to each other?

Texting or talking?

Have you ever received a call from someone telling you to check your WhatsApp because they've sent a message? Or do you exchange numbers with someone and realise at some point that you have never actually spoken to the person, you only communicate via text? It seems people have gone from having conversations to texting. One can argue that texting has replaced writing letters - which is something we stopped doing - but is it better to text than talk?

The Internet has made the world seem so much smaller. With applications such as Skype, Google Chat and others, communication is not only easier and it's instant. From games and movies to shopping, people are spending more time online - even finding love on dating sites.

The recent scandal featuring the Ashley Madison website demonstrates that they are even cheating online as well. From sexting with phones to sites like Ashley Madison, cheating has gotten high tech. Some persons define cheating as physical sexual activity with someone other than your spouse. With all the options available online, how easy is it to navigate what is allowed in a relationship? What are the rules of engagement when it comes to online activity for persons in relationships? Here are some guidelines that you can consider:

1. There is no such thing as privacy on the internet. Once you send a message to someone, you really don't have any control over who that person shares the information with. Social media is even less private, a lesson that many persons learn when they put up a post and realise that more people saw it than they intended.

2. Delete an image or video as soon as you are through enjoying it. Phones get stolen and devices can get lost so if that nude photo that you took for your partner is still on there, other persons can have access to it. Celebrities have learned that lesson when their own accounts are hacked into.

3. Don't show your face in nudes - Couples like to have fun and send each other nude photos. I say: have your fun, but don't show your face. So even if the photo gets in the wrong hands, your identity is still protected.

4. If you are not comfortable sharing it with your partner, you probably shouldn't do it. This is what I tell couples when they ask what is allowed. If you find yourself hiding everything from your partner, it's because you know they will not be happy if they found out.

5. Create a no-tech zone or time. I love technology, but I do believe that we are in danger of becoming too dependent on these devices. Some persons are still unable to have a full on face-to-face conversation with each other. So put down the devices and spend some real time together as a couple.

Technology is a tool and it's only as effective as we use it. Instead of it becoming between us, let it to bring us closer together. Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to or Tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook




Dear Dr. Sexy,

My boyfriend refuses to give me the password to his Facebook page. I sent him a friend request and he still has not accepted me. We have had arguments about his online accounts because I can't see much because of his privacy settings. Should I be concerned that he has something to hide?

Samantha, Duhaney Park

Dear Samantha,

Take a break from social media and be with each other. Don't focus so much on what he's doing online and work on your relationship with each other in the real world. Having his passwords will not solve anything because he can simply open a different account. Focus on each other and turn off the computer.

Good luck,

Dr Sexy

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