Trying to stay loyal to my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am in a long-distance relationship. I have been married for five years, but my husband and I have only been living together for two years.

I am fed up with the situation, and I don't know how long I can continue to live this way. I love my husband and he says he loves me, but my heart is very sad.

We have two children together and they are with me. I see sadness in their faces all the time, especially when it comes to Mother's Day and Father's Day. My children keep asking me, "When is daddy coming home?" and I have to cheer them up. My husband sends money for them all the time, and he sends me love notes. He begs me not to get involved with any other man. So far I have not done so, but it is hard to remain loyal.

I work with men, and they are all over me. I almost got myself into trouble a couple of times, but I did not go all the way. My father-in-law is a preacher. He is always encouraging me to be faithful. I do not fully trust my mother-in-law. She asked me questions that a mother-in-law should not ask. I asked my sister-in-law why her mother believed that she had a right to question me about my sex life, and she said that one of her brother's wives cheated on him and her mother knew about it. So she told my husband that he should expect anything from me. If I wanted to cheat on my husband, I could have done so.

We are paying a mortgage and there was a time when we were behind by two months, and one of the guys who went to school with me offered to pay it if I went to bed with him. I told him that I would prefer to lose my house than let him pull my underwear down. He never asked me again. But I told my husband, and he called the guy and he did not hold back. He cursed him and called him a dirty dog. This man is married. I felt sorry that I told my husband.

This guy also told me that I did not know what my husband was dong in America. I would prefer not to know than to remember that I sold myself. One of my co-workers is in a similar situation like me. Sometimes she tells me that she is very broke and a friend takes care of her.

I am looking forward to seeing my husband very soon. I can't wait to see him. Some of these men who think about women whose husbands are away are not good friends. They are just looking for the occasion to go to bed with them.

B.P.

Dear B.P.,

I commend you for remaining very strong and for not getting intimately involved with this man who considers himself to be your friend.

He could have given you the loan without trying to get you to go to bed with him. He is not an honourable man, and you have to be careful what you say to your mother-in-law.

She might empathise with you, but it is likely that she will always take the side of her son if anything goes wrong. Most women support their sons even when their sons are wrong. They do not take the sides of their daughters-in-law. So be careful what you say to your mother-in-law.

Long-distance relationships can be very hard to keep. So I congratulate you for being true to your husband. I hope that very soon you will claim victory over all the temptations you have had to face. Set a good example for your children.

Pastor