Burdensome church rule had me burning in my pants

January 12, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 years old, I am having a problem. When I was younger and very active in church, I had a girlfriend. We belonged to different churches, but we wanted to get married. The leaders of the church that I belonged to told me that I would have to be willing to take a demotion if we got married. So, for a long time we kept our relationship very private.

Whenever I had to attend council meetings in Kingston, we arranged to get together and have some fun. This is not something we really wanted to do, but it was the only way we could spend time together without being demoted in rank. Finally, I worked up the courage to ask the president what was wrong if my girlfriend and I should get married. He said we would be unequally yoked. I told him that I would rather be unequally yoked and married than to be burning in my pants for my woman.

He said he would marry us, but we would have to keep it a secret that we got married in different ranks. Nobody would know about our ranks. We got married, and the matter of our ranks was never brought up by anybody.

Our president never said anything to us about it. He wrote up his report to his supervisor, but he never said anything about our ranks. My wife and I are very happy. What do you suggest that we do now? Should we say anything about it?

Initials Withheld.

Dear Writer,

I don't believe you should say anything about the ranks, nor should your wife. To me, that is not important. Let sleeping dogs lie! Enjoy your married life. Some church rules are burdensome and too difficult to bear.


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