Cheating boyfriend wants another chance

September 19, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I'm writing you with tears in my eyes. I feel so hurt and depressed. I didn't know that man could be so evil.

I was with my man for four years and I was nothing but good to him and his children. He has two children with two different women.

I wasn't interested in him at first because I wasn't interested in becoming babymother number three.

He showed me that he was a changed man and he was looking for a wife, and won my heart.

After a year into the relationship, I wanted to get married. He said he wasn't ready and he needed more time to sort out himself financially first because he was moving from one job to another and he wanted to clear a few debts.

Another year passed and he claimed he wasn't going to marry me unless I gave him a child. I was hesitant at first.

Anyway, I eventually gave in and tried to get pregnant. Nothing was happening after six months so I was referred to a fertility specialist.

I eventually found out that I have fertility issues and I might not be able to get pregnant naturally. I sought treatment and we continued to try for another year, and still nothing.

During the attempts, his attitude towards me changed. He wasn't being as affectionate and caring as he used to be and was always on his phone, which I couldn't touch.

One day, he came home from work very tired and put his phone down and left it open. I took up the phone and quickly went through it while he was in the bathroom taking a shower.

I saw many inappropriate messages between him and other women. They were even exchanging naked pictures. He was even having sex with a few women.

And, he was telling a particular one that he wanted to have a child with her. I was so hurt and upset I beat down the bathroom door and we started to argue.

I asked him if he was using protection with them and he said no.

Pastor, there was nothing I could do but leave immediately before I killed him. I was disgusted and couldn't stand to see or hear him.

So I packed my bags and went to stay with my sister until I could find an apartment to rent. It has been six months since, and he is now trying to get back with me.

My sister is against it and threatened to cut me off if I go back to him.

Sometimes I feel like going back because we had our good times. He used to say he couldn't marry a woman unless she had his child.

Now he is saying he loves and misses me because I'm a good woman and he wants me back, and we can keep trying and then get married.


I still love him but I love myself more. A part of me wants to go back because he said he has changed.

But a part of me hates him and want nothing to do with him because he could have given me an incurable disease and his love was conditional.

Pastor, my fear is that I don't want to be alone. I want to get married now more than ever and try to have children before it is too late for me.

I fear that no other man will want me because of my fertility issues. I have never met a Jamaican man that is willing to accept it.

They all talk about their woman must have their children. I'm so stressed and depressed. Should I forgive him and go back to him? What should I do?


Dear L.L

This is a decision that you will have to make on your own. You were living with this man and you know he is not truthful. You also know that he has other women.

You left him for good reasons. If you want to go back to him, the decision will be yours. If a man loves a woman and she cannot have children, she can adopt.

I repeat, you have to make your own decision. The only thing I can do for you is to pray.


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