Husbands should cherish their wives


June 21, 2016

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, said, "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question: What does a woman want?"

Well, Freud may not have been able to identify the deepest needs of women, but modern research has. A wife's most basic needs in marriage are: (1) to be cherished, (2) to be known and (3) to be respected.

Wives need to be cherished - I cannot count how many times I have heard these words, "I can't understand it. She has everything she could possibly need. She doesn't have to work, or her money is hers, I pay the rent, I'm faithful, but she's still miserable. I just don't get it. I'm not the talkative type, Rev. I show my love by providing the very best I can for her."

These poor husbands don't realise that their love-starved wives would have traded all the money in the world for a little tenderness from him.

What am I saying here? Without meaning to, a husband can completely miss one of his wife's most important needs: the need to be cherished. This need is too often overlooked by husbands because men don't feel the need for it as deeply as we women do. But that doesn't discount its validity. Your wife needs to be cherished.

She needs to know she is number one in your life. If it came down to an evening with your friends or a night with your wife, she needs to know you would choose her, not because you have to, but because you want to. So, what can you do to cherish your wife?

Consider how often you say, "I love you." Some men don't feel the need to say it with words, but every wife has an insatiable need to hear it. Your wife also needs evidence that you are thinking about her during your day. A small token or a quick phone call or message to say, "You are on my mind," can mean the world to her. As a man, you probably don't know the effect you can have on your wife by being gentle and tender, making her feel cared for.


Does cherishing your wife mean sacrificing a football or domino game, or nights out with the boys? No. When your wife is satisfied with knowing that she takes first place in your life, when she knows she is the most important thing in the world to you, she will encourage you to do the things you enjoy. It is part of the mystery of marriage. When a woman is truly, genuinely cherished, she feels free to encourage her husband's independence.

"To love and to cherish" is more than a phrase from your wedding vows. It is one of the most important needs your wife will ever have. By meeting it, you are sure to build a partnership that brings you both pleasure.

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