Relationships take work


April 26, 2016

Now that we have forgiven, let's look at revitalising our relationship and maintaining intimacy. The basic ingredients of a healthy marriage are unconditional love, positive regard, communication, and an unwavering commitment.

In this atmosphere, a relationship will flourish and overcome obstacles. A successful marriage may have problems, but the husband and wife will successfully navigate trouble as a team.

Ladies, can you accept the fact that your husband will never be able to meet all your needs and aspirations? Seldom does one human being satisfy everything another person desires.

Obviously, this coin has two sides. You can't be his perfect woman. And he is no more equipped to resolve your entire package of emotional needs than you are to become his sexual dream machine every 24 hours.

Both partners have to settle for human foibles and faults, irritability, and fatigue, and occasional night time 'headaches'.

A good marriage is not one in which perfection reigns, it is a relationship in which a healthy perspective overlooks a multitude of unresolvables. You will have to know your mate well enough to sometimes look behind the words being spoken to find the true meaning of what the person is trying to be communicated.

If a couple has developed the kind of relationship where each is as concerned about the other's feelings and needs as much as they are about their own feelings and needs, this same love and concern for each other will be carried into the bedroom. In most cases, the passion will then come naturally.


Keep your husband and family as the primary focus in your life. Next to your relationship with Christ, the next most important relationship a wife has is with her spouse and children.

We must then remember that our primary role is that of a husband or a wife, not a parent or an employer or employee. Adam first got a wife in Eve before he got a mother for his children or the helper in the field.

We have to maintain focus because we all marry to find someone who cares more about us than anything else in the world.

But if your career interests are more important than your spouse's interests then your spouse will eventually conclude that he/she is missing what he needs most, someone to put him or her first.

If your career is priority then your marriage does not stand a chance. Put your spouse first, and your career will flourish and serve you both well.

Refocus your efforts to prove to your spouse that you care more about him or her more than anything else in this world. Refocus your intelligence because couples should be constantly working on their marriage.

Regular maintenance of the relationship is a must, spending time away or together, 'checking in' on each other during the day 'not checking up'.

Having authentic interaction with other couples and attending marriage-building events are also very critical to your marital health.

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